ReachTheBlueStatesWithLove : Messages : 329-358 of 5526

#329

From: "*** Dr. Jocular, UNC Prof ***" <dr_of_jocular@...>
Date: Fri Jun 16, 2006 2:10 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - June 15, 2006 A.D. - When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds...

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Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
featuring 'Thought & Humor'
by Howdy

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TheRestOfTheStory!!!

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Updated frequently during the day!!!

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Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

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*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

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Renewing Fire

I always liked Smokey the Bear, and he has taught me there's one thing

you are supposed to do with forest fires - prevent them! That's why it bothered

me a little when I read about a fire last summer in the Boundary Waters area

of Northern Minnesota. It was a slow moving fire that burned through about

3,000 acres of canoe country. What was unsettling was this. The Rangers did

nothing to fight it. They didn't even try. In fact, they called it "friendly fire."

Some of the quotes in the paper: "The fire is doing its job." "This is a prescribed

natural fire." Well, actually, they do this quite a bit. I guess the fire releases

nutrients into the soil, and the deer and the moose thrive on that new growth

that comes after a blaze. And the wolves thrive on the deer and the moose,

of course. It's even good for the birds and their food supply. Now this is

interesting. There is a fire that destroys things, so it can make things new.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Acts 19:17-20. Now,

in the city of Ephesus the power of Jesus has been dramatically displayed.

Satan has taken a visible beating there, and it says that the name of the Lord

Jesus was held in high honor. Then it goes on to say, "Many of those who

believed now came and openly confessed their evil deeds. A number who

had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly.

When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to 50,000 drachmas.

In this way, the Word of the Lord spread widely, and grew in power." Now, that's

what you have to call a renewing fire. It's a fire that burns up your sin, and all the

props that have helped you do it. And the result? It says, things grew in power.

You see powerful Christianity always makes repentance a central issue. Ordinary

people release extraordinary power when they abandon the sin that's been holding

them back. This may explain why you've felt frustrated in your life with Christ lately;

why there doesn't seem to be much spiritual passion, or power, or result. There's

sin that you've not brought to the fire. See, we tend to be fairly casual about our sin.

We excuse it, we minimize it, we resign ourselves to it, we tolerate our sin, we cover it,

but Jesus doesn't take our sin casually. It killed Him. If you love Him, you've got to

destroy the things that destroyed Him.

In 1 Peter 2:24 it says, "He carried our sins in His own body on the tree that we might

die to sin, and live for righteousness." God calls us to deal with sin surgically - to abandon

it. Oh, we want the forgiveness, but we don't want the fire. But genuine repentance burns

your bridges to the influences that feed that sin. It makes things right with the people

that have been affected by it. It finds someone to be accountable to. It acts as if you're

never going to do it again.

There's so much more power available for your life, but it's on the other side of true

repentance. Yes, there is fire that renews; that brings new life. And God may be calling

you right now, even through our time together, to come to that fire where you abandon

that sin once and for all. It's held you back long enough, and the fire of repentance is

friendly fire. And the same fire that cleanses you also has the power to launch you where

your life has never gone before. - - Ron Hutchcraft

*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

===============

I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

===============

False Foundations -

Three Of Hearts

Earlier this week, the cable network Bravo aired the documentary Three of
Hearts: A Postmodern Family. The film is designed "to challenge conventional
ideas of family," according to director Susan Kaplan.

Three of Hearts shows two gay men, Steven Margolin and Sam Cagnina,

bringing a woman into their relationship. For several years, the director followed
Steven and Sam�and the woman they called their "wife," Samantha Singh.

(Sam actually married her, presumably on behalf of both men.) We see them
interact with their families, run a business, and have a daughter, Siena .
We do not find out until later which man is her father.

Significantly, at least two of the trio come from difficult family
situations. In particular, Sam speaks movingly about what life was like

with his father in and out of prison. He confesses, "I chose [Steven and
Samantha] as my parents. . . . I need someone to try to take care of me."
All three are in therapy, and Sam's therapist thinks it is likely that as he
matures, he may outgrow the relationship�an indication of the immature
attitudes that got this relationship started in the first place.

But it is Steven who leaves after thirteen years, just before Samantha's
second child is born. Now, battling over everything from business
arrangements to dog-care expenses, everybody has a different opinion of
their former relationship. And Sam admits, "I think we were all building a
house on false foundations."

Although Sam is helping Samantha raise both children, he has no legal rights
to the little girl. Steven turns out to be Siena's biological father�but he
has her only for a few days every month.

On top of it all, Sam and Samantha no longer have a sexual relationship.
Though they are still married, Samantha calls the marriage a "technicality."
On the film's website, Sam explains, "What we both want eventually is to
live next door to each other raising our children together; we will both
live with someone we love." Since Steven already has a new partner, this
would give Siena six parental figures and three homes!

If your head is spinning, I don't blame you. It's hard, however, not to feel
sorry for these unhappy and disillusioned people�but it's also hard not to
get upset with them for bringing children into such an inherently unstable
situation. You have to wonder, what on earth were they thinking?

Ironically, the director and her subjects consider this a "political" film
striking a blow against defenders of traditional marriage, and legislation
like the federal marriage amendment. But if they're really proposing a mess
like this as an alternative to traditional families, they are shooting
themselves in the foot. The film makes you root for traditional marriage. If
these confused people had had more stable families, they might not have
grown into the kind of adults who mess up their kids' lives just to prove a
point.

Although Bravo aired Three of Hearts earlier this week, it will probably air
it again. If it does, this is once when I am going to suggest to you that
you watch what is meant as propaganda for "alternative" marriage. Get your
friends and family to watch it too, because what they are going to see is
what a wreck we make of our lives when we ignore God's plan for marriage and
families. And those watching will gain a new understanding of why we must
fight to protect and promote marriage. BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

===============

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daily jollity/raillery by sending an e-mail to:

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===============

His Name

Is Abba

Not far into John's Gospel, Jesus was gaining enemies at every turn. He
used a whip to drive men and livestock out of the temple. He chose the
holy Sabbath to heal a man who could not walk. But it was because of his
words that they sought all the more to kill him. To their anger over the
Sabbath healing, Jesus simply replied, "My Father is always at his work to
this very day, and I, too, am working" (John 5:17).

To the person well-versed in biting comebacks and fatal rhetoric, these
words don't seem at all like fighting words. But to Jews who knew a
history of combating (and failing to combat) the polytheistic influences
of surrounding nations, Jesus uttered what seemed the most blasphemous
notion possible. He was calling God his own Father, making himself equal
with God.

Even so, the notion of God as Father was not a new concept. Even to the
Jews who took offense at Jesus's words that day, God was understood as
Father in the sense that He is creator, that He is Lord, that He is protector

and forgiver. Fourteen times in the Old Testament God is spoken of as

Father, and each instance depicts a sacred glimpse of divine fatherhood.

But here, Jesus adds to the notion of Father an element of intimacy and
uniqueness with himself. Nowhere in Palestinian Judaism is God
addressed by an individual as "my father."(1) Jesus's use of such an
title--and elsewhere the familiar "abba" or daddy--reveals the very basis
of his communion with God, a communion he boldly offers his followers:

"This, then, is how you should pray:
'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven'" (Matthew 6:9-10).

It is easy to approach as ordinary the extraordinary mystery that Christ
is Son and God is Father. "Heavenly Father" and "only Son" are phrases

I rarely wrestle with. All too often I overlook the vast allowance of being
able to call God my own Father. It is not a quality inherent in all
religions (it is, in fact, an obstruction to some, an enigma to others).
That you and I can approach God as Father is the unique and pressing

gift of the Son.

I was moved recently by the profundity of this gift as I listened to the
stories of a man named K.K. Devaraj. Reverend Deveraj works among the
discarded lives of Mumbai, India. For 16 years, the ministry he founded
has fostered life-saving outreach to orphaned children, drug addicts, and
prostitutes. To each one he offers the same message as many times as
necessary: "Whenever you are ready, your Father's house is waiting."
Often, he offers for years.

Yet such is the startling, radical message of Christ. There is a Father
who knows you by name, in whose house you are invited to be who you
are--to live and work and play as He created you. "In my Father's house
are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going
there to prepare a place for you" (John 14:20). There is a Father who
waits, who longs to gather his children together and take them into His
arms. Some will be transformed, some will be broken, some will refuse

to be gathered. But He offers us a place, positioned within the greater
offer of adoption. He is our Father whose name is hallowed and whose

kingdom we seek, whom we know through the Son and worship as
children. His name is Abba.

Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias
International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) See Joachim Jeremias Jesus and the Message of the New Testament
(Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2002).

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tell them to ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

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There is no doubt that Dan Brown*, armed with his brand of postmodern
historical skepticism, has blatantly and deliberately misinformed his
readers about the history of Christianity. Among many other obvious
wrongdoings, he has committed the serious sin of blaspheming against

the person of Christ. *Da Vinci Code Author

- I'Ching Thomas - associate director of training at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Singapore.

===============

Summer Reading Schedule:

Click on above

during those few

spare moments

this Summer...

===============

Read what you have time for below

& save the residuum for a stormy/

blustery/dilatory interval while

the charming/exquisite/vernal/

aestival season is bursting out all

over. Our goal is to promote a non-

threatening and productive office

& university environment and to

establish language that is gender-

neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-

neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.

===============

Undoubtedly America�s fastest growing sensation online,

'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way

through the Internet�s highways and byways to your e-mail

address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique

blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your

weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic

but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious

and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

================

If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true

and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some

conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes

more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself

to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could

be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I

believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to

the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll

There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the

Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was

constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be-

tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history,

a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging.

It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned.

- - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist

In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form

of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,

and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on

equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was

petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,

in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute

for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,

and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The

great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of

our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel

of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan

"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own

their dependence upon the overruling power of God

and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the

Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those

nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord."

-- President Abraham Lincoln

Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody

Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton

===============

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Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)

1-800-633-3446

===============

***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***

This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqu�
located below. Even French students can do it...

===============

"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider

well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ

which is eternal life (John 17:3)."

- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according

to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the

fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties

of religion, both in public and secret."

- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter

===============

The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,

failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not

crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,

converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it

out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why

this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such

animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin

responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,

they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or

reluctantly." - Joe Boot

===============

Why The U.S.A. Is At War:

http://attacked911.tripod.com/

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/lists/by-name/

(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

===============

'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but

never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.

===============

Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',

please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

===============

God designed humans to want to believe in something.

That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.

Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God

of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe

in everything -- including Little Green Men.

- - Chuck Colson

===============

Dear Howdy,

Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate

for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...

it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we

all need...please keep up the great works!!!

Type atcha later...

God bless you,

Phil H

===============

It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,

And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,

Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,

And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.

- - Isa 40:22

===============

Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**

SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have

seen. The best to you.

S. P.

*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.

===============

"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln

We can all pray. We all should pray. We should ask the fulfillment of God�s
will. We should ask for courage, wisdom, for the quietness of soul which
comes alone to them who place their lives in His hands. -- President Harry
Truman

When there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people
are poisoned. There is no such thing as a no-man's land between honesty and
dishonesty. Our strength lies in spiritual concepts. It lies in public
sensitiveness to evil. Our greatest danger is not from invasion by foreign
armies. Our dangers are that we may commit suicide from within by
complaisance with evil, or by public tolerance of scandalous
ehavior. --President Herbert Hoover

Our faith teaches that there is no safer reliance than upon the God of our
fathers, who has so singularly favored the American people in every national
trial, and who will not forsake us so long as we obey His commandments and
walk humbly in His footsteps.
-- President William McKinley

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man &
his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship,
that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions,
I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people
which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus
building a wall of separation between Church and State�
--President Thomas Jefferson

The Bible is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of life,
the nature of God and spiritual nature and needs of men. It is the only
guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and
salvation. America was born a Christian nation. America was born to
exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness which are derived
from the revelations of Holy Scripture.
-- President Woodrow Wilson

In tendering this homage to the Great Author of every public and private
good, I assure myself that it expresses your sentiments not less than my
own; nor those of my fellow-citizens at large, less than either. No people
can be bound to acknowledge and adore the Invisible Hand which conducts the
affairs of men more than the people of the United States.
-- George Washington

There are two prayers that I love to say�the first is the Lord�s Prayer,

and because the Lord taught it; and the other is what seems to be a child�s
prayer: �Now I lay me down to sleep,� and I love to say that because it
suits me. I have been repeating it every night for many years past, and

I say it yet, and I expect to say it my last night on earth�
--President John Quincy Adams

Our strength lies in spiritual concepts. It lies in public sensitiveness to
evil. Our greatest danger is not from invasion by foreign armies. Our
dangers are that we may commit suicide from within by complaisance

with evil, or by public tolerance of scandalous behavior.
--President Herbert Hoover

We are all called upon by the highest obligations of duty to renew our
thanks and our devotion to our Heavenly Parent, who has continued to
vouchsafe to us the eminent blessings which surround us and who has so
signally crowned the year with His goodness. If we find ourselves increasing
beyond example in numbers, in strength, in wealth, in knowledge, in
everything which promotes human and social happiness, let us ever remember
our dependence for all these on the protecting and merciful dispensations of
Divine Providence. --President John Tyler, December 7, 1841

Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is
religion and morality alone, which can establish the principles upon which
freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is
pure virtue; and if this cannot be inspired into our people in a greater
measure than they have it now, they may change their rulers and the forms

of government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty. They will only
exchange tyrants and tyrannies. --President John Adams

Whereas, it is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to owe their
dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and
transgressions, in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine
repentance will lead to mercy and pardon� --Abraham Lincoln

Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot
succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with
me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good, let us confidently hope
that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your
prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.
--Abraham Lincoln

Without God, there is no virtue, because there's no prompting of the
conscience. Without God, we're mired in the material, that flat world that
tells us only what the senses perceive. Without God, there is a coarsening
of the society. And without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure.
If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation
gone under.
--President Ronald Reagan

Mighty God�I yield Thee humble and hearty thanks that thou has preserved

me from the danger of the night past, and brought me to the light of the day,
and the comforts thereof, a day which is consecrated to Thine own service
and for Thine own honor. Let my heart, therefore, Gracious God, be so
affected with the glory and majesty of it, that I may not do mine own works,
but wait on thee, and discharge those weighty duties thou requirest of me.
--George Washington, in his prayer journal

No country has been so much favored, or should acknowledge with deeper
reverence the manifestations of the divine protection. An all wise Creator
directed and guarded us in our infant struggle for freedom and has
constantly watched over our surprising progress until we have become

one of the great nations of the earth. --President James K. Polk

Looking for the guidance of that Divine Hand by which the destinies of
nations and individuals are shaped, I call upon you everywhere, to unite
with me in an earnest effort to secure to our country the blessings, not
only of material prosperity, but of justice, peace and union�a union
depending not upon the constraint of force, but upon the loving devotion

of a free people; and that all things may be so ordered and settled upon the
best and surest foundations that peace and happiness, truth and justice,
religion and piety, may be established among us for all generation.
--President Rutherford B. Hayes

I only look to the gracious protection of the Divine Being whose
strengthening support I humbly solicit, and whom I fervently pray to look
down upon us all. May it be among the dispensations of His Providence to
bless our beloved country with honors and length of days; may her ways be
pleasantness, and all her paths peace.
--President Martin VanBuren

Every thinking man, when he thinks, realizes that the teachings of the Bible
are so interwoven and entwined with our whole civic and social life that it
would be literally�I do not mean figuratively, but literally�impossible for
us to figure what that loss would be if these teachings were removed. We
would lose all the standards by which we now judge both public and private
morals; all the standards towards which we, with more or less resolution,
strive to raise ourselves. --President Theodore Roosevelt

The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the
blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which
are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which
they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature
that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is
habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.
--Abraham Lincoln

The men who established this government had faith in God and sublimely
trusted in Him. They besought His counsel and advice in every step of their
progress. And so it has been ever since; American history abounds in
instances of this trait of piety, this sincere reliance on a Higher Power in
all great trials in our national affairs.
--President William McKinley

�Finally, it is my fervent prayer to that Almighty Being�that He will so
overrule all my intentions and actions and inspire the hearts of my
fellow-citizens that we may be preserved from dangers of all kinds and
continue forever a united happy people.�
--President Andrew Jackson

"When I left Springfield I asked the people to pray for me. I was not a
Christian. When I buried my son, the severest trial of my life, I was not a
Christian. But when I went to Gettysburg and saw the graves of thousands of
our soldiers, I then and there consecrated myself to Christ. Yes, I do love
Jesus." --Abraham Lincoln

Oh! Almighty and Everlasting God, Creator of Heaven, Earth and the Universe:
Help me to be, to think, to act what is right, because it is right; make me
truthful, honest and honorable in all things; make me intellectually honest
for the sake of right and honor and without thought of reward to me. Give me
the ability to be charitable, forgiving and patient with my fellowmen - help
me to understand their motives and their shortcomings -- even as Thou
understandest mine! Amen, Amen, Amen.
--President Harry Truman

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw! his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and

the Bible." - President George Washington

"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a

power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."

- Queen Victoria

"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,

the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early

love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught

in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;

but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,

no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)

"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."

- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)

"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant

"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.

The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."

- Horace Greeley (Editor)

"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams

"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to

belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be

known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of

confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the

Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in

any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences

progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human

mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation

and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,

it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,

and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible

is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable

distance separates it from all competitors."

- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply

due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me

a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."

- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.

The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas

Huxley (Author & Scientist)

"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever

growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson

For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)

===============

Stop by & visit our office anytime you are nearby. Our offices
are located on the 50th & 51st floors of the World Wide Web

International Headquarters Tower. Howdy

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,

and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a

time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.

===============

The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to
historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous
internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings."
The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of
whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who
never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims
must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests
solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed
by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

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===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling winter pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S.What level of importance must a person have,

before they are considered assassinated instead of

just murdered?

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From: "***Dr. Howdy***" <hello_myfriend2day@...>
Date: Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:39 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - June 15, 2006 A.D. - When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

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Feeling Dirty -

Getting Clean

Our son had just moved to an Indian reservation to work among the young people

there and for a short time, he stayed rent-free at the home of a Native American family.

Well, sort of rent-free. One day the man of the house asked our son to help him with a

little plumbing problem. Our suburban boy said, "Plumbing? Sure. Where can I find a

plunger?" He was informed that no plunger would be needed, so apparently it's going

to be easier than he thought. Right? Wrong. His host took him out in the backyard and

introduced him to a septic pond where his job was to try to clean out a stopped-up pipe.

In order to find it, our son had to reach into this gross stuff up to his shoulder. Then he

got to experience the contents of that septic pond splashing all over him as he hung over

the water, pushing a rod up and down through the blocked pipe. Yuk! He said when he was

finished, he had one thing and only one thing on his mind - a shower. He called and he

summarized his experience very simply: "I've never felt so dirty in my life, and it's never

felt so good to be clean."

Feeling clean. That's a feeling someone who's listening right now could use because

you've felt dirty long enough. We all know those feelings because we've all done things

that we're ashamed of; we've done some things we thought we'd never do, we've failed to

do some things we should have done. Too many times, we've hurt people we care about.

There are these dark secrets that haunt us and even some things we're hooked on that we

can't stop doing. We feel dirty inside, and we don't know how to get clean.

That's why our word for today from the Word of God is such good news. It's written to

people who know what dirty feels like. In 1 Corinthians 6, beginning with verse 9, the writer

describes people who have messed with sex, both heterosexual and homosexual, people

who have ripped off others, who've been selfish and greedy, who've had drinking problems,

along with backstabbers and cheaters. Then comes this startling statement: "That is what

some of you were." Were? How does that happen? How do dirty people get clean?

Here's how. "You were washed ... you were justified" - that means made right with God -

"in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." God gave them a spiritual

shower because of Jesus. But how can a God whose perfect just erase all my sins from

His book? "In the name of the Lord Jesus" it says. That's because Jesus had all the dirt

of my life dumped on Him when He died on the cross. In the Bible's words, "He carried

our sins in His body on the tree." (1 Peter 2:24) Just think of Jesus absorbing all the guilt,

and the shame, and the hell of every angry thing you've ever done; every dirty thing,

every selfish thing, every deceitful thing, every hurting thing. That's how much He

loves you. That's how much He wants to forgive you so you can have the unspeakable

joy of being clean and the guarantee of being with Him in His heaven forever.

As Jesus was dying on that cross, He said of those who nailed Him there, "Father,

forgive them." That's what He wants to say to God about you today, "Father, forgive

him. Forgive her." if you will take what He died to give you. No religion can erase

your sin from God's book. Only Jesus can do that, because only Jesus paid the

death penalty that we deserve. The sinless One became dirty so you could become

clean. He took your hell so you could live in His heaven.

The man on the cross next to Jesus, hearing His offer of forgiveness, said to Him,

"Remember me when You come into Your kingdom." (Luke 23:42) That's what you need

to do - to reach out to the Great Forgiver and ask Him to forgive all the sinning you've

ever done. If you do, He said, "I will remember your sin no more." (Hebrews 8:12) You grab

Him in total faith as the only One who can rescue you from your sin.

If you're tired of dirty, if you're ready to finally be clean inside, would you tell Jesus

that? Tell Him you're done doing things your way and you're His from now on because

no one loves you like He does. The day I opened my heart to Jesus like that, someone

took time to explain to me exactly how to get started in a relationship with Him. I'd love

to do that for you. That's why I've made our website a place where you can read or listen

to a simple explanation of beginning with Jesus. Or call for my little booklet, Yours For

Life, at 877-741-1200 (FREE).

There's nothing like a shower when you feel dirty. Jesus stands ready to wash away

today the dirt of your lifetime. It feels so good to be clean! - - Ron Hutchcraft

*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

===============

Didache &

Human Life

If I were to tell you about an ancient document that sheds fresh light on
Christianity, your first reaction might be to run for the hills. Most of us
have had just about all we can handle of the spurious "Gospel of Judas"

and The Da Vinci Code, right?

Well, I'm not talking about The Da Vinci Code. Unlike the Gnostic gospels
that inspired the novel, the ancient document I'm talking about sheds some
real light on Christianity. It's called the Didache, and it's one of the
earliest non-scriptural Christian writings, written toward the end of the
first century. As Christianity Today explains in an excellent article last
month, "While no one believes that any of the twelve apostles wrote it,
scholars agree that the work is a faithful transmission of the apostles'
teaching, intended primarily for the training of Gentile believers."

So this is no mysterious subject of an ancient conspiracy, just a practical
guide to discipleship and obedience�maybe not as thrilling to many readers
and moviegoers, but a lot more important.

Specifically, I came across the following passage:

"There are two ways, a way of life and a way of death; there is a great
difference between them . . . in accordance with the precept of the teaching
'You shall not kill,' you shall not put a child to death by abortion nor kill

it once it is born. . . . The way of death is this; they show no compassion

for the poor. They do not suffer with the suffering. They do not
acknowledge their Creator, they kill their children and by abortion cause
God's creatures to perish; they drive away the needy, oppress the suffering;
they are advocates of the rich and unjust judges of the poor; they are
filled with every sin. May you be ever guiltless of all these sins!"

That's pretty powerful language, condemning the brutal practices of the
Romans and of the pagan societies. But what really caught my attention

is that this demonstrates so clearly that the sanctity of all human life is an
issue that goes back to the very beginnings of the Church. That ought to

be news to those who slam the so-called "religious right" as if abortion

were some issue we just recently latched onto for political power. To the
contrary, this struggle against the culture of death is an ancient one,
going back two thousand years. The Didache wisely identifies the unborn

with the poor, and condemns the rich and unjust judges who oppress them.

Fascinating, isn't it? All the hoopla over the "Gospel of Judas," which was
discredited in the second century. The world, you see, wants to believe all
kinds of deep dark secrets that might shake the foundations of the faith.
But here comes a genuine document�no attention paid to it�but what it

proves is the validity of the biblical account.

The Didache, the Church's first written guide for discipleship, may not
contain ear-tingling, earth-shattering revelations like all the other recent
sensational disclosures, but it contains something much more important:

a reminder of the Church's great heritage and a call to our generation to

be as faithful as our ancestors were in protecting life and the weak and

the defenseless. BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

===============

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Beyond Biographies

On any given week, three to five biographies make The New York Times
best-sellers list for non-fiction. Though historical biographies have
changed with time, human interest in the genre is long-standing. The
first known biographies were commissioned by ancient rulers to assure
records of their accomplishments. The Old Testament Scriptures, detailing
the lives of patriarchs, prophets, and kings, are also some of the earliest
biographies in existence. Throughout the Middle Ages, biographical
histories were largely in the hands of monks; lives of martyrs and church
fathers were recorded with the intention of edifying readers for years to
come. Over time and with the invention of the printing press, biographies
became increasingly influential and widely read, portraying a larger array
of lives and their stories.

The popularity of the genre is understandable. As Thomas Carlyle writes,
"Biography is the most universally pleasant and profitable of all reading."

Such books are pleasant because reading the accounts of men and
women in history, we find ourselves living in many places; they are
profitable because in doing so, we hear fragments of our own stories.

The questions and thoughts we considered our own suddenly appear

before us in the life of another. The afflictions we find wearying are given

meaning in the story of one who overcame much, or the life of one who

found hope in the midst of loss. Perhaps we move toward biography

because we seem to know that life is too short to learn only by our own

experience.

As Christians we are called to move similarly. The most direct attempt

in Scripture to define faith is done so by the writer of Hebrews. The
eleventh chapter begins, "Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and
certain of what you do not see" (11:1). It is a definition that has always
somewhat eluded me, and I was thankful to read I'm not alone. John Wesley
once observed of the same words, "There appears to be a depth in them
which I am in no wise able to fathom." But moving from this definition of
faith, the writer of Hebrews immediately expands upon the weighty statement
with a list of people who lived "sure of hope" and "certain of the unseen."
From Noah and Abraham, to Rahab and saints left unnamed, we find faith
moving across the pages of history, the gift of God sparkling in the eyes
of the faithful, the hope by which countless lives were guided. In this
brief gathering of biographies, the writer seems to tell us that faith is
understood functionally as much as philosophically, and that our own

faith is more fully understood by looking at the lives of the faithful.

At the end of his compelling list, the writer of Hebrews concludes:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"
(12:1). The lives of those who followed Christ before us urge us onward,
strengthening our hearts with stories of faith, stirring our minds at the
thought of God's universal sway, reminding us that He moves in our
biographies and yet beyond them.

Amidst the chronicles of kings and kingdoms in some of the earliest
recorded biographies, we are given this promise: "For the eyes of the
LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are

fully committed to him" (2 Chronicles 16:9). Moved by the hearts of the
faithful, may we be moved further into the arms of God.

Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias
International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) See Joachim Jeremias Jesus and the Message of the New Testament
(Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2002).